Relationship Complexity

Welcome to Relationships Complexity, a blog that dives into the fascinating world of relationships through the lens of complexity science and systems innovation. Here, we explore how the intricate interactions between partners, much like interconnected systems, can lead to emergent behaviors – both the beautiful and the challenging.

My name is Nathan Hardy, and I’m an Assistant Professor at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, helping develop a new Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) program. I’m also a licensed MFT with years of clinical experience helping couples navigate the complexities of their relationships, now at my clinic Ascend Relationship Counseling, PLLC.

My passion for understanding relationships deepened during a funded research project called “Couples in Conflict: Bridging the Systemic Divide” through the Mental Research Institute. This experience ignited my fascination with how complexity science, particularly systems thinking, could revolutionize our understanding of romantic partnerships.

Inspired by the Systems Innovation Network, I’ve been immersed in studying complex systems principles. My goal is to translate these often abstract concepts into accessible insights, shedding light on why certain relationship patterns persist while others evolve over time. Further, I went through the AAMFT Leadership Certificate Program and continued to explore ideas from systems and complexity as I explored my own leadership as a professional.

On this blog, you’ll find thought-provoking analyses exploring concepts such as:

• Holism: How the whole of a relationship is greater than the sum of its parts, and how individual actions impact the entire system.
• Feedback Loops: The cyclical patterns that reinforce or undermine connection and intimacy.
• Nonlinearity: How small changes in a relationship can lead to unexpected and significant outcomes.
• Emergence: The idea that new possibilities can arise in relationships when we shift the underlying dynamics.

I invite you to join me on this journey as we uncover the hidden complexity behind falling in love, falling out of love, and the potential for falling back in love again. Subscribe to get the latest posts applying systemic and complexity lenses to the most enduring human puzzle – making relationships work.

Let’s unravel the mysteries of love together!